Day 31 - Do I Trust You, Lord?

There is a song by Twila Paris called "Do I Trust You, Lord?" Here is a sample of the lyrics (from: http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/twila_paris/do_i_trust_you_lord-lyrics-214132.html)

Do I trust You, Lord? Does the robin sing? Do I trust You, Lord? Does it rain in spring? You can see my heart, You can read my mind, And You got to know That I would rather die Than to lose my faith In the One I love. Do I trust You, Lord? Do I trust You? I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why. I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die. I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain! You were God before, and You'll never change. I will trust You. I will trust You. I will trust You, Lord. I will trust You.

I must admit that I was struggling with trusting the Lord at the time I first heard this song. All of the answers to the questions between "Do I trust You, Lord?" are yes and amen. Yes, the robin DOES sing. Yes, it DOES rain in spring....but "Do I trust You, Lord?" is a question I cannot always answer in the affirmative.

God's Word give us constant reminders of our need to trust Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6
⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart⁶ , and do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge Him And He will make your paths straight.

2 Chronicles 13:18Thus the sons of Israel were subdued at that time, and the sons of Judah conquered because they trusted in the LORD, the God of their fathers.

Psalm 9:10And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.

Psalm 28:7The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.

Proverbs 16:20He who gives attention to the Word will find good, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD

Isaiah 26:4Trust in the LORD forever, For in GOD the LORD, we have an everlasting Rock.

Jeremiah 39:18For I will certainly rescue you, and you will not fall by the sword; but you will have your own life as a prize, because you have trusted in Me,” declares the LORD.’”


2 Kings 18:5-6
⁵  He trusted in the Lord, the God of Israel; so that after him there was none like him among all the kings of Judah, nor among those who were before him. ⁶ For he clung to the Lord; he did not depart from following Him, but kept His commandments, which the Lord had commanded Moses.


We serve a trustworthy God! Lord, help my unbelief. My heart believes that Your Word is true, yet at times I fail to trust You. In my humanness, I allow my past experiences to dictate my level of trust toward You and others. Break down that wall, Lord...I give You permission to do so. I want to have the utmost level of trust in You. I will not allow doubt to creep in and rear its ugly head. 


I TRUST You, Lord
Pamela

Day 30 - Are You Listening?

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend, spouse, child, co-worker, boss or someone on the phone where you have shared deeply from your heart only to get a response such as "Oh, that's nice." Or perhaps the other person read something into what you have said and goes into a diatribe about how you should not feel the way you do? Maybe they decide they need to pray for you and their prayer is totally off base. You walk away or hang up the phone thinking "They did not listen to a word I said!"


I have read through the entire Bible five or six times in my lifetime. I wanted to scream at Eve, "Did you not hear what God said????" Why are you listening to that stupid serpent?"  I got so annoyed with the Israelites for not listening to God. Hey, Israelites, God was right there with you in a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night; yet you complain and grumble! No wonder He allowed you to roam the desert for forty years! And OMG...the Apostles? They had Jesus right there in front of them, but they did not truly listen either. How many times a day does my Heavenly Father say the same thing about me? 


I am going 100 miles per hour sometimes, in multiple directions and I will pray a quick prayer here and there throughout the day. I hit the ground running at 5:40 a.m. and don't stop until midnight or later most days. I know that God is with me everywhere and I don't necessarily need to be lying prostrate to pray to Him. I actually have some of my best prayer time relaxing in a nice hot bubble bath. While I give my "shout outs" to God, I don't take time to listen to His response. I know how badly I feel when someone I care so much about is not listening, not hearing my heart's cry. I know that sometimes, I break The Father's heart because  I am so busy with life that I don't have time for the very One who gave me that life.


Father, forgive me for making the cares of this world more important in my life than You. I know You speak to my heart and I need to take time to listen to what You have to say. You know the end from the beginning. You know the end of the story....heck You wrote the story!
I must slow down and take time to start my day with You...perhaps I should set my alarm clock for 5:30 a.m. and spend the first ten minutes of my day with You. Thank You for Your Mercy and Grace that are new EVERY single morning. I am so thankful to You for that.


I love you, Lord
Pamela

Day 29 - "SQUIRREL!!!"

As I sat down to write my blog today, I noticed that my dining room table was sticky. I got up and went to the kitchen to get something to wipe down the table when I saw a stink bug on my kitchen widow. I grabbed a fly swatter, not to smash it, but to get it to where I could capture it and put it outside. Before I did that, I remembered the table. I put some soap on a damp paper towel, then took care of the stink bug. I came back, sat at my dining room table to begin writing and realized I had left the paper towel on the kitchen sink. I went back to retrieve the paper towel but forgot the reason I went to the kitchen! LOL
I eventually got it together and wiped down the table, but by the time I did all of that, it was time for me to leave for work. So now, 8 hours later, I sit once again to write my blog. 


Recently, I have been designing an album for a couple for whom I shot a wedding a month ago. I took advantage of my new organization of images...pre-ceremony, ceremony, post-ceremony formal portraits, location portraits and reception images. I still have a problem....I have too many images from which to choose. While I like having lots of choices, I can become frustrated by too many of them, become stagnated, and not do anything. Then I become frustrated with myself for being frustrated! Such a wicked cycle. It is so easy to get distracted by things that won't mean a hill of beans in eternity. 


Mark 4:19: 
but the worries of the world, and thedeceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. 


Lord, help me to stay on task. Help me to not allow so many things to distract me from the goals You want me to accomplish in my business an my life. Forgive me for allowing meaningless things to take my attention away from You.


I love You, Lord
Pamela

Day 28 - Faith in the Trials

James 1:2-4

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

²  Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. ⁴ And let endurance haveits perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.


Um, I don't know about you, but I have a hard time being joyful in the midst of trails and temptations. I live in a house that is over 100 years old. 100 year old homes have problems. When my sewer backed up and my plumber discovered a crack in the ceramic pipes I have, I was looking at a MAJOR project. The plumber was going to have to break up my basement floor, dismantle my deck that I had built just 18 months before. Under the deck was all cement.


My garage sits under my deck and the plumber would need to dismantle some of the cinder block wall to get to the broken pipe. I was facing a $10,000 or more project. For a moment, I felt like I made a mistake buying an old house. But in the back of my mind, I knew that the Lord had opened the door for this house for me. I started praying about the situation and put it in God's hands.


The plumber was able to repair the pipe in the garage...he only had to remove 3 cinder blocks and replaced them without changing the appearance of the garage. He never had to take up my basement floor nor dismantle my deck. My final bill was $2,000, but that was a heck of a lot of less than $10,000. I had to praised the Lord for his intervention in this situation. 

Romans 5:2-6

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

² through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. ³  And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;⁵ and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.


Sometimes our trials have to do with people we allow in our lives. Through misunderstanding, abuse, deceitfulness, infidelity, lying, backbiting, divorce, misrepresentation, or just plain meanness, people hurt us. I have experienced every one of these scenarios in my lifetime. It is painful when people you trust hurt you. I know that I have also hurt people. Thank God for His grace, mercy and forgiveness. 


I am now much more forgiving. Forgiveness is for you, more than the other person. Forgiveness releases the other person's hold on you. When you harbor anger, bitterness and un-forgiveness against another person, you allow them to hold you hostage. You give that person power over your life. Let it go. Give the pain to Jesus. 


I write these blogs after reading Scarlett Lillian's book Prosper, A 40-day journal to seek God's will for your photography business. I am never quite sure what direction my post will take, but I attempt to be led by the Holy Spirit in the hope that I am reaching someone who needs to read what I have written. Know that I am praying for you.

Thank you, Lord, for using my words to reach someone who may be searching. You can use any media to reach people, thank you for allowing me to touch other's lives.

I love You, Lord
Pamela

Day 27 - Different is Good

Do you think of yourself as one of the crowd, or do you think of yourself as different? I have been in a photograph with a group of people where it took me a moment to find my face...I just sort of blended in with the crowd. I have also been in photographs where I looked so different from the others in the picture that I was surprised. The only way to describe what I saw is that I seemed to be brighter or glowing. Not like a neon sort of glow, but a glow that comes from deep within. 


God calls those who are His own to be different.

2 Corinthians 6:14-17

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

¹⁴  Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? ¹⁵ Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with anunbeliever? ¹⁶ Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said,

“ I will dwell in them and walk among them;

And I will be their God, and they shall be My people.

¹⁷ “ Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,” says the Lord.

“And do not touch what is unclean;

And I will welcome you.

When He speaks of not being bound together, He does not mean to avoid those who are non-believers altogether. How can you reach the world for Christ if you only hang out in Christian circles? What is is referring to is being yolked together. Oxen were yoked together to plow fields. The oxen had to be of similar size and strength to work together. You would not yolk an ox and a rabbit or an ox and a giraffe. The yolk would not fit and the two could not work together. 


If you are a believer in Christ,why would you go into business with someone who does not share your Christian values?  If you want to be in a relationship or marriage with someone, but they do not share your Christian values, it would be a big mistake to get into partnership with them. Why? Well first, read God's Word above. 


You cannot and should not get into a relationship thinking you can get someone to change. For me, it is ridiculous to be with someone I want to change everything about. Is my partner perfect? No, sometimes he falls short, just like I do, but I know that first and foremost he loves the Lord Jesus Christ with all of his heart. We share our love of the Lord by going to church together and talking about the Lord. We can share encouraging Scriptures, emails and prayers. 


My prayer for you is that you embrace your differentness. You don't have to run with the pack. You don't have to be part of the "in" crowd. Remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). We are the apple of His eye. The phrase "apple of his eye" in an unusual one, used in the Bible to refer to God focusing His love, attention, and protection on those who follow Him. (BibleGateway.com)


Deuteronomy 32:10  He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye. 


Lord, I thank you that you care for me as the apple of Your eye. You love me so very much. Thank you that I don't fit in with the world. I want to be different. I want Your Light to shine through me. 


I love You, Lord
Pamela

Day 26 - Got Faith???

Why is it so difficult for me to live by faith? Don't get me wrong, I believe that God the Father is real and that He sent His Son Jesus to earth to be The Sacrifice for my sins. I believe the Jesus was crucified, died and was buried and rose again on the third day. I believe that when Jesus ascended to the right hand of the Father, He left the precious Holy Spirit as my Paraclete (an advocate or an intercessor). I believe that He created the world and everything in it and that everything belongs to Him.  Yet, why don't I trust Him with my menial problems? 


I have faith for you. If you called me on the phone and shared about problems going on in your life, I would assure you that God is not only able, He is willing to help you. I would site Biblical references  and give you Scriptures that dealt with your issue. I would pray for you and your situation. But somehow, when it comes to doing those same things for myself, I fall short.


In October 2005,  my oldest son, his wife and two children moved into my one bedroom apartment with me. I was single at the time and used to having my own space. Now I was sharing it with 2 more adults, and two toddlers. 2005 had been a very trying year. I had broken up with a man I  with whom thought I was going to spend the rest of my life. My mother had been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer, I was working on my Bachelor's degree in Information Technology and Management, working a full-time job and running a part-time photography business. I was also three months away from getting out from under a great deal of debt I had amassed. When my family moved in, I went into mom mode and wanted to make everything right. I got a loan because I was just supporting myself on the salary I made.
I did not have the faith that God would supply ALL MY NEEDS according to HIS riches and glory in Christ Jesus. (Phillipians 4:19)


My son, who told me he would look for a job, had a breakdown about 6 months into their stay with me. He distanced himself from all family and friends including his wife and children. He stopped eating, stopped bathing and seemed to lose all hope.He did "wake up" for a few months...even attended my graduation ceremony. He and his wife conceived and had another baby. After that time, he began to care for himself and no one else. He still would not talk to or interact with any family or friends. His wife and I tried to get him help, but because he had not hurt himself or someone else and was now tending to his needs, there seems to be nothing that can be done. We were told he has to ask for help...he does not speak to anyone nor does he leave the house. 


It is 2012 and my son is still with me. He and his wife are separated. If I had exercised faith and set boundaries in my home, perhaps they would be living together now. That is in the  past and it cannot be changed; however, moving forward, I am going to have faith that God will heal my son and reunite him with his family. I have to be fearless about allowing
my son to stand on his own two feet. I have to let go and let God.


Lord, forgive me for not exercising my faith as I should, for Your Word says:


Matthew 17:20
And He *said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.


2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. 


Lord, I choose, this day to trust You. A mustard seed is one of the smallest seeds, yet YOU say if I have faith the size of a mustard seed...I can move mountains! Thank you, Lord, for loving me.


I love You, Lord
Pamela

Day 25 - Who, Me???

When I was about 42 years old, I found out that my mom had placed me in a orphanage after my birth. I was shocked to find this out. You see, someone my mom knew had forced himself upon her and she ended up pregnant with me. She was a young registered nurse beginning her career, and the 50's were a time when single mothers were looked down upon. When I was six months old, she returned to the orphanage to take me home with her. She loved me unconditionally. She put together this amazing scrapbook with photographs (I think this is where my love of photography began) and clever captions to match each one. When I shared this story with my sister (not a biological sister, but someone who chose to be my sister), she beamed "Oh, that is so sweet, she came back to get you!" I angrily shot back with "She put me in an orphanage!!!"

I have wondered since then how different my life may have been living in an orphanage? Would I have been adopted or would I have remained a ward of the state until I turned 18? When I look at my childhood, I am so grateful that my mom came back for me. Not that life was picture perfect, but I had a relatively care free childhood. Mom gave me the best of everything. Just like my mom came back for me, God "came back for me" as well. 

Jeremiah 1:5 reads:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you;

I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.” 

He knows us before we are even born....each and every one of us. He knew my mom would feel like she could not raise a child alone and place me for adoption. He also knew that she had lived in foster care most of her childhood and did not want that life for me. I remember the day that God chose me. I had been reading a book by Norman Vincent Peale called The Power of Positive Thinking. The book had scripture references throughout and since I had never read the Bible, even though my husband and I had one in our home. I grabbed the Bible and looked up the references. I remember thinking how beautiful the Scriptures were. I was invited to a revival at a small church in the town where I lived shortly after my discovery of God's Word. As we listened to the message, I could fell the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart. I did not answer the call the first night.

When I returned the next evening, I felt as though my heart was being pulled from my chest...not in a painful way, but with a sense of urgency. My heart was finally ready to accept the Lord into my heart and life. When the call was made for those who wanted to surrender their lives to Jesus, I heeded the call. I was the only person out of all 200 or so people packed into that sanctuary that came forth that evening. Yet,  was not embarrassed or scared. I felt exhilaration, relief, and peace. God chose me and I had finally chosen Him back.

You, too, are chosen. God's Word tells us in Ephesians 1:3-5:

³  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, ⁴ just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love ⁵ He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will.


If you have not chosen Him yet, this is your opportunity to do so. Asking Jesus into your heart means having a relationship with Him like a marriage (A GOOD MARRIAGE...not the world's version of marriage). The end result is spending eternity with Him. He loves you so much! Am I saying all your problems will disappear when you say "YES" to Jesus Christ? Absolutely not! In fact, all hell may break lose. I experienced some very turbulent years after accepting Jesus. It occurred to me much later that God knew that I need to be saved just at the moment I was so that He could walk through those trials with me. Had I been walking that road alone, I am not sure where I would be...in jail, in a mental hospital or dead. Do I live a perfect life? No. There was only one perfect person who walked this earth and that is Jesus. I fail on a daily basis. I don't practice sin, but I manage to fall into sin more often than I want.


Lord, I thank You for my salvation. I repent for not trusting You as I should. You love me unconditionally. Help me to be a beacon of light in a dark and desperate world. Use my words to help someone today, Lord. Let them know there is hope in You.


I love you, Lord
Pamela

Day 24 - Thankful for Your Blessings?

Have you read the Persian proverb, "I complained that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet."? Why do we have such a sense of dissatisfaction? Why are we not satisfied with what we already have? We are so fortunate in this country. Yes, we have poverty, but compared to most of the world, we do not experience the type of poverty that say Haiti experiences. Yet, we constantly complain that we don't have enough. We want more, more, more.


When I was young, the children in my neighborhood played outside all day long in the summer. We rode bicycles, went to the playground, or went to the swimming pool. The only days we did not go outside were the days we had thunder storms. If it was only raining, we were outside making mud pies. In winter, we were ice skating or sled riding. Sadly, many of today's youth sit in front of a computer screen, a smartphone screen or a television screen most of the day. They have X-Box, Wii, Playstation, Nintendo DS, more apps than you can shake a stick at and a myriad of other distractions. They text instead of talk to one another. It drives me crazy when I spend 15-20 minutes in a text "conversation" when I could have had a real conversation that would have lasted maybe 5 minutes. I understand that there is a place for texting and it comes in handy if you are in a meeting and need to give or receive information, but we are losing the art of conversation.


The more we give our children, for which they don't have to work, the more ungrateful they seem and the greater their sense of entitlement becomes. They always want the latest game and when next iteration of whatever unit they have hits the market, they are whining because what they have is now obsolete. My mom had the right idea about teaching my sister and me to invest in the things we wanted. When maxi-coats (I know I am dating myself) were all the rage, my sister and I wanted one so badly, we did the begging and pleading thing. We already had a number of very good coats in our closet, so it was not like my mom was not taking proper care of us. She told us that if we raised half the about of the coat, she pay for the other half. We gladly saved up our allowance money and were so proud when we were able to go to the store to purchase those coats. We took great care of them because we had an investment in those coats. Now we just give our children what they want...even when we really cannot afford to do so. I was guilty of this behavior myself.


How many times have you said to God "I wish I had a better house, car, job, clothes, etc?" Why are we not satisfied with the blessing He has place in our lives already? Sure, your house may need a little work here and there, but you have a roof over your head. One short trip to downtown Pittsburgh reminds me that I am not living on the street or under a bridge. If you want better car, perhaps you can give up the expensive Starbucks coffee, make coffee at home and put the money you save aside in a 'new car fund'.


My goal is to be thankful for the blessings I already have. This is not to say the Lord will not continue to bless me, because He will. As I bless others, He blesses me. As I share openly and honestly on my blog, I pray that I am touching hearts and blessing everyone who has taken time out of their busy schedules to read what I have written. 


Acts 20:34-35
³⁴ You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my own needs and to themen who were with me. ³⁵ In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”


Lord, I am so grateful and thankful for all the blessings in my life. My children and grandchildren are healthy, I have a comfortable home, a reliable vehicle, a decent job with great benefits. I have people in my life that I love dearly who love me in return. I am abundantly blessed.


I love you, Lord
Pamela

Day 23 - Are You Good Enough?

How often do you compare yourself to someone else? I have done it so much, I can't even count the times I have said things such as:  "I wish I had a body like hers." "Their home is much nicer than what I have." "If I could only take photographs like (fill in the blank), then I would be successful like them." "Look at my friend, (fill in the blank), she/he has so many talents, gifts and abilities."


One day, I am driving down the road on my way home and I said to the Lord, "Why does she have so many gifts and talents? She sings, she dances, she does choreography, she is a percussionist, she is an artist, she is an author, she is an illustrator, she is a beautician, she is an actor. Why is all of this talent in one petite package?" Do you know what the Lord's reply was to me? He said, "You had all of those talents, but you did not use them." I was crushed. I had allowed the circumstances of life to hinder me from doing things I loved to do. There was a time in my life after a nasty break-up that I lost my love of photography and did not touch my Nikon FM or any other camera for a very long time. I don't remember what got me to pick up my camera again, but I am so glad I did.


I fell in love with the photography of Ross Oscar Knight of Atlanta, GA after seeing a slide show he had done of an engagement session at the Ritz. I found out later that not only was he a fellow photographer, he was also a brother in the Lord. I waited anxiously for new postings to his blog and usually left comments about the wonderful work he did. I had an opportunity to meet Ross and his lovely wife Brandi on a business trip to Atlanta in December of 2010. He is so real and down-to-earth and humble. In my mind, I wanted to shoot like him. But guess what? I am not him and God has given me a gift that is different from the gift he gave Ross.


Today, a line in Scarlett's prayer leaped off the page at me..."I confess that I look around at how talented other photographers are and I think less of the gift You have given me." Wow, I never looked at it that way before. When we compare ourselves and our God-given gifts, talents and abilities to someone else, we are devaluing those things. So, today,  I endeavor to stop comparing my gifts to the gifts of others. You never know, others may be looking at what you do and think less of the gifts they have. Armed with this insight, I can now look at their work and appreciate what they do, but mostly I need to appreciate how God has gifted me.


Thank you, Lord for all with which you have blessed me. I appreciate the gifts you have given me. Help me to be a good enough Christian, mom, friend, spouse, employee, photographer, sister, and neighbor.


I love You, Lord
Pamela

Day 22 - Who's a Critic?

Ouch, ouch and ouch! Ever been your own worst critic? I have...and sometimes continue to be my own worst critic. When I got serious about getting my business re-started, I invested in Olympus cameras and lenses (which are excellent quality) because at the time, I could not afford Canon. I would shoot and look at my work and think "If I had a Canon this would be a much better photograph". Okay, fellow photographers, I know you know that it is not all about the camera equipment, but about your eye and vision for what you want to create. My clients raved about the photographs I shot for them, but in my mind, I was constantly critiquing my work and thinking....I could have done better. My other bad habit was thinking that if I was in a room and another photographer was there, I immediately felt unnecessary. Why do I do that to myself? I have 4 doctors, none of which is unnecessary, but each has a different area of expertise. It is the same with photographers. One may be an architectural photographer, or a portrait photographer, and one may only photograph concerts but all have different skill sets.


That reminds me of the body of Christ. We are all members of His body, but we don't all function in the same way.


^{Romans 12: 4-8:
4} For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function,⁵ so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ⁶ Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, ^[f]according to the proportion of his faith; ⁷ if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; ⁸ or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.


Even if I am in a room of 1,000 wedding photographers, I am unique. No one else has my style. No one else does what I do the way I do it. Do you remember the quote the Lord gave me that I shared with you? "Creation is most majestic when it is simply what God created it to be, that includes us."
So my promise to you is that I pledge to be the best me I can be...and if I am not being that, you have permission to call me on it.


A time came when I was able to purchase my Canon equipment, but I have to admit that as I go through my digital files from over the years, I see some pretty amazing stuff I shot with my Olympus cameras. Of course, I continue to learn and improve my skills, but I have to admit that I have taken some really great photographs that totally blessed my clients. So while I continue to grow as a photographer, I have also grow in the grace toward myself that I extend to others.


One day, I was visiting a close girlfriend and was admiring a family portrait she had hung on her dining room wall. "What a great family photo", I said. She replied "It should be....you took it!" It all came back to me! I had taken family portraits for her in her living room...with my OLYMPUS camera. I had to ask myself why I was so super critical of my own work?


Lord, help me to be all You have called me to be. I cannot be anyone but me. YOUR Word tells me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Your creation amazes and inspires me. Help me, Lord, to capture what You want me to see that is different from what anyone else does. Help me to appreciate the gift with which you have blessed me.


I love you, Lord
Pamela

Day 21 - Is Your Faith Showing?

In a court of law, would you be found guilty of having your faith showing? Can your neighbors, co-workers, clients, the cashier at your local grocery store point an accusing finger at you and proclaim "I saw her/him practicing their faith!"?  I do not mean that you carry around a 20  pound Bible and declare to the world "I AM A CHRISTIAN!" I don't mean that you ask everyone on the street, "Do you know Jesus?" I am speaking of the way you live your life?

2 Corinthians 3:2-3:

You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not ontablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

I am also not talking about being religious. Religion is man-made. I have a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ. I love the analogy Scarlet used to compare her relationship to Jesus to a relationship when we fall in love with someone. You want to shout about that love from the roof top. I can honestly say that in relationships, I have become cautiously optimistic. You meet someone, you fall in love, things seem to be going great, you share your joy with your friends, then, poof, that person disappears from your life. You stop talking about your 'ex' to all the friends with which you shared your former happiness. You feel confused, hurt and angry. Take heart, because in a relationship with Jesus, He has promised to NEVER leave or forsake you.

Hebrews 13:5

He Himself has said, “ I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,” 

I am overjoyed to share with you that I am in a relationship with a wonderful man. The most wonderful quality he has is is great love for the Lord. I can't begin to express the joy I feel when we are standing next to each other in church praising and worshiping our Lord together. I know that neither of us is perfect...only Jesus is perfect, but as we begin our journey together, we serve the Lord by serving one another. I pray that our walk will be a living letter...known and read by all men.

Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to share my faith. Open doors for me to share it more often. I pray that I will change the atmosphere wherever I may be because of the Spirit who lives within me.

I love you, Lord

Pamela

Day 20 - Is Your Cash Flow Flowing South?

I find it ironic that the chapter on tithing and cash flow both fell on a Sunday. As I got my checkbook out last night to write my tithe check, it occurred to me that I was giving the same amount I gave last year. Since my (8-4) job is going paperless, our check stubs are held electronically. When I decided that I needed to be sure I was giving at least 10%, I went to my online account to discover that I was not giving a full 10%. I adjusted my check to include a true tithe and an offering. 

Scarlett brought up a good point about giving her photography as a tithe. In the past year, I have done about 6 weddings for people who could not afford my standard investment at a drastically reduced price. I even lost money on one wedding. I remember that it is Christ that I am serving and I must trust Him that He will bring me the clients who can afford me. 

When I was first starting out as a photographer, I charged around $300 for a wedding. This was in the days of film, so after film costs, processing, the album and packaging, I made nothing. I never charged for my time. That is no way to run a business. 

I begin working the night before by making sure all batteries are charged and packing my equipment. I also print out a copy of the contract, the client questionnaire (thanks Zach and Jody) and shooting list. A photographer's day can be 8-14 hours long, depending on the photographs the bride is requesting. I pack all of my equipment into the car. I always arrive and hour to an hour and a half early. Sometimes I have to wait for the bride, but better I wait for her than she wait for me. I may be photographing the bride getting her hair and make-up done. This does not always happen in the same location, perhaps not even on the same side of town. 

The next step is the bride getting into her dress. Sometimes things get misplaced, lost, or left at home and there is no time to return for them and the bride has a meltdown. You assure her the the day is all about her and the man she loves enough to marry. Until recently, I was the only photographer shooting the wedding. I was at the alter, in the aisle, in the balcony, alter-left, alter-right, in the pews to get the best shots. With the advent of point and shoot cameras and tablets, many people in the pews are taking photographs as well and standing in my way, but I have to work around that. I can't yell out in the middle of the ceremony..."Hey, would you please sit down?" 

Then comes the kiss, the introduction of the couple, the exit, the receiving line and trying to wrangle the wedding party back together to get some formal portraits on site. Then there are the people who want you to take a picture of them with the bride and groom with their camera. I have decided to politely decline this request. I tell them I will photograph them with my camera and they can get the photo later. If weather permits, the wedding a party and I are off to Mt. Washington, West Park, Highland Park, Grandview Golf Course or one of many beautiful Pittsburgh locations to take more formal photographs.

Last, but certainly not least, is the reception where you must be sure to get those standard shots such as first dance, toast, cake cutting, bouquet and garter toss, and any other shots deemed appropriate. You add liquor to that mix and who knows what will happen. I was once sexually harassed by the bride's uncle in front of the entire wedding party...and they thought it was funny. I, on the other hand did not.

At the end of the evening, I am spent. I pack up my gear, head home and immediately download the images to my computer and save them to my external hard drive. The next day, I begin culling the images and selecting the one's to go into the album. This can take many hours...especially if you over shoot like I do! :-)  I carefully design the album and once I have completed the album layout, I upload the images and wait for the book to arrive. Upon arrival, I inspect the album, then package it and call the bride to make arrangements to deliver her album.

I had to realize that I needed to put a value on my time and hard work. What about all the weddings I did where I barely broke even? I did them as unto the Lord.  He can and will bless my sacrifice I made so that people I shoot for can have a beautiful wedding album. Sometimes I throw in the CD for free as well. God can take what I give and make something wonderful out of it to bless others.

He has my back. Philippians 4:19

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Thank you, Father, that you bless me over and above what I ask, think or imagine. Thank you also for showing me that You bless what I sacrificially give to others.

I love You, Lord!

Pamela